There were several guys that I dated in High School and a little beyond that. They were a lot of fun and we got along great but then one day, they just disappeared from my life and never gave an explanation why. It bothered me all those years. As time went on and technology changed the way we live our lives, I found a couple of them on Reunion.com and Myspace. I contacted them and they were very thrilled to hear from me. The thing is, now they say they made the biggest mistake of their lives giving me up... This is true but 24 years later is not the time to profess your true love, am I right? So they want to start all over and get another chance. It can't happen. My life moved on just fine and I have two great kids, two wonderful grandchildren and the perfect man..... The thing is, whyyyyyyyyyyyyy, After all this time would they suddenly realize they should have stuck with me the whole time? Has anyone else experienced this and if so, how did you react?
[question posted by ddhawkins63]
responses and comments:
ddhawkins, In my opinion, people often reacct this way becuase they have missed out on spending time with you. another reason they have moved on with their live and may have had some bad time's and are re living what experience's they have had with you and are imagining it bieng better with you instead of the path they have chosen to go. with that bieng said you have moved on with your life got married and had kids and granchildern(with no regret's), the grass is always greener on the other side when it is bieng visited again. for the first time in along time. It all boil's down to this it is a physcological thing that can not be answered of why, it is only their regret's. This type of thing has not happend to me, as i was a loner in high school and didnt spend much time with friend's out doing stuff we hung out at my house. Maybe also cause it is a generation thing iam 25 met my husband when i was 12 dated off and on till 18 and we got pregnant and married.though it has happend to him,(tis where my opinion comes from). [ama101]
Hmmmm - I think they are still talking out the side of their neck - They obviously never deserved you - not then and especially not now - If the were real and wanted to do the things it toke to keep your heart - they would have done it a long time ago - just like you are thinking - But they missed out and you got someone that will and does - I have a woman that I wish I would have professed my love to - we were friends - not lovers - I am still kicking myself in the butt for never telling her How I feel! I did everyting I could to find her and I finally did! Now I have gotten shy again - I don't want her to think I am some kind of pervert or something - ohhh what to do huh??? [shakadoodoo]
Yea - I am going to tell her - What is funny is that I think it is pretty obvious - I mean it has to be - I just can't say it. But she is still single and always loves to talk to me. I guess I need to tighten up my boot straps and stop being a whimp! [shakadoodoo]
hi it once happened to me too. I was engaged to a nice young man,he was a few years younger than me, but then religious questions made him give up. See he went a spiritual way where I said I cant come with you to that place, it just doesnt seem right for me and after some painful discussions and him being a bit hot tempered as young as he was then we decided to break up. Sad. I met him around a year later in town and we chatted like nothing had happened and he still was in that church I disliked so much...... and one of the next times we bumped into each other in town he said " I was an idiot to let you go cause no one has loved me like you did". I was too shy to comment on this plus I thought he is so immersed in that church so we will be in trouble anyways. We kept in touch loosely and years and years later I learned through a small note in the newspaper he had a very bad accident at work and lost part of one leg. I could find out which hospital he was in and wrote to him telling him if he needs help I be there for him, but also told him I am engaged to someone else meanwhile We met around 3 months before I was to get married, again in the town center, by chance, lol, and he did very well walking with an artificial leg and only one crutch at that time. Real good. When he learned about that marriage he was a bit hot headed again and started shouting at me a little bit, out of concern for my well being. I was really impressed and somehow wished I could put back time 15 years........he was so hot tempered that evening that I thought he would throw the crutch at me....... I thought I better not tell him the wedding date it would have upset me too to see him be man enough to witness that. I met him in facebook now and its such a pity that he has not found someone special in that church he faithfully serves. He would make a great husband and a great dad too. [book1962]
i think this does happen very commonly.. well they feel that they have missed out on something giving you up. i wouldnt give up what i have now to go back to my past, but i do think what would happen if (one in particular) did stay in my life and we worked things out, how differently my life would be right now and i seriously dont think i would be as happy as i am now. not sure why i feel that way but yeah... [meljessxena]
Exactly! That is how I felt and still feel. There is a reason that things don't work out! [ddhawkins63]
i am a 20 years old girl.when i have a problem when i was grow up ,my mom told me one thing: she has met a guy who love her.when they daparted and then met again,the guy phoned my mom one night when he drank a lot.he cried and said he haven't stoppesd thinking about my mom,and missed her every day.when my mom told me this she cried too.but she is a sensible lady .she already have a happy family!so she won't give it up!of course my dad know nothing about this.and they are still in love.and the guy and my mom are friends! [yoyo2323]
i wouldn't know anything about that cos i attended an "ALL BOYS" school. sorry..but when it comes to meeting old classmates (boys) there's nothing special about it. they just want to know what you are upto now.. if you have succeeded in life or still struggling [soki2ng]
Hi Dd! I think you are wise to realize that you should always be happy for what you have, and looking back is fun, but I eould never leave my wonderful life and family for a not sure thing from the past! I have of course contacted people from my past on Facebook, and it was a great walk down memory lane, but never for one minute did I think that it would be a good idea to change what is good in my life now! I love seeing what other people are up to in life now, but it was a long time ago for me, and all of our lives are changed. Nostalgia is great, but I don't get carried away with it. Great discussion. [ljbinkop]
i had chance to meet some former school mate. but some are not actually my classmate just schoolmate. i just felt sad i was not able to go to the reunion. missed the chance to see them. and the worst thing i felt i let some or few friends down when i didn't come to that reunion. i didn't have friends or much friends. i had too few friends back then. and i didn't know actually who were my real friends were in high school. not until that reunion when they wanted to come to that reunion badly. that was only i knew that they were actually my friends cause they in a way missed me. and they felt so sad that i didn't were able to come. cause one friend told how bad they felt but they were not angry just felt bad that some things like reunion don't come or happen often. i just felt their sadness a day after that event when i didn't attend. and since then i just had this sad and lonely feeling every time i remember what i did. anyways, some of them are working in other countries that is why i can't see them when i want to. some things you will just learn the importance of it when you don't have it or lose it already. [hotsummer]
I think, to these guy, if they chose you years ago, they would say the same words to other girls. Some people always think that they would have a better life if they did or didn't do something before. But in fact, they did something else. They just get what they did. Just enjoy it. I think there is no need to regret. [michel_sun]
I agree one hundred percent. There are no regrets on my end but I think they found that the grass was not quite as green on the other side as they thought. They gave up someone that treated them with love, dignity and respect. They gave it up for other pursuits. One was so into his drugs that I walked away. The other, well, he had other issues going on in his mind and he did have things rougher than most. His mom died when he was a teenager and his dad died when he was just a little baby. What he was left with was an abusive step-father. He walked away from me though, he says out of fear of commitment. But, he still chose to no matter what the reasons. Both these guys had my whole heart when I dated them, but they stomped all over it. I am just thankful that I have finally found someone that accepts me for me and doesn't walk away at the slightest little problem. I have it good and there is no way that I would ruin what I have for what they say would be a perfect life. I already have the perfect life, they don't.... I guess it all comes down to Karma! [ddhawkins63]
Yeah, some people just do that. Is sadistic and selfish. they simply turn their back to people, with no apparent reason. Did I get the point? Don't ask yourself and do not suffer. They are like that, maybe they will change someday, maybe they won't, maybe they will apologize 5 minutes before they die. I don't wanna go too far with that, but is perfect if you don't go too far being hurt by those people. Just think how hard it is to speak the truth and be a correct person. Anything can be explained to people , or at least we should try to before .. leaving. I was like that a long time ago. Those times are gone, and I changed. [magda191919]
Yes, and the answers are comfortable. When people leave like this, suddenly, is not because of us. But when happens to you it hurts somehow, so it's absolutely normal to seek for an explanation. By the way, remember Marlon Brando? [magda191919]