Ok anyone here who knows me knows that I always try to see the good in people and look for the bright side of any situation, anyone who knows me at all knows that my 2 children are the most important and wonderful things in my life and that they are the main focus of my life, just as with any mother.
Today Niamh (6) came home from school and got changed - she put a skirt on as the weather was really nice and as she was bouncing around all over the place we noticed a deep ling scratch on her bottom just below her panties. It turned out that at lunchtime one boy in her class had held her whilst another was grabbing up her skirt, she tried to get away but couldn't and this boy of 6 had left the scratch on her! I felt sick and so, so angry. When I asked why she hadn't hit them to make them leave her alone she told me it was because she was at school and didn't want to get in trouble! My poor baby is very brave and also very strong and could have defended herself but didn't want to get into trouble!
I have been to the school and spoken with the Deputy Headteacher, she had already spoken to one of the boys parents but didn't know the whole situation and was going to have to get both sets of parents into the school to sort this situation out and she couldn't have been more understanding. These boys are going to have to be kept indoors under supervision whilst the other children are out playing. They did not even question Niamhs side of the situation as she is well known as a very good student who is helpful and kind to other children and very rarely complains about anything! I am struggling to understand how boys of such a tender age would think to have one hold a girl while the other felt up beneath her skirt!
Sorry I disappeared so suddenly from certain discussions but I know you understand that my family comes first! I am off to spend time with my kids but hopefully when my daughter goes to bed I will be back - as long as I have calmed down enough as right now I am very angry and feel sick! Have you ever came across anything like this in children so young? What would you have done in my situation - I did tell the headteacher I have told Niamh that if anyone EVER tries to do anything like that again or if she is in danger at all then she will use violence to protect herself - I expected resistance or argument and met none! In fact she backed me up by telling Niamh she knows that she wouldn't do anything to hurt any other pupil but if she was in danger and needed to protect herself then she must do whatever she needs to to stay safe! Some common sense there then! Sorry for ranting but I had to get this off my chest my friends! Thanks for listening and hopefully see you soon! xxx
[question posted by mummymo]
responses and comments:
At least the situation is nipped in the bud and hopefully sensitively dealt with, as you know I have worked in a primary school and have seen how children young as 4 can start bullying others and some are really really sly and crafty they wait till your back is turned, unfortunately you cannot watch them 24/7. It sure did open my eyes up, it was like bullying at 4? You start to get a sixth sense about what children are capable of bullying from a young age and those that are liable to be bullied. You want to protect them but they have to learn to fight their own battles and yes in this situation it's the devil and the deep blue sea because if Niamh didn't strike out they would continue but if she did, she feels she'll be punished and you can understand that. I got angry reading that after seeing Niamh and hearing this, well that got my talons showing, sending you hugs and hopefully it can be sorted xxx [wolfie34]
Good to see you, wolfie! :) [Transdisc]
Now Maddysmommy is angry - I am sorry to hear this mummymo and would of reacted the same way, maybe more. I too would of marched myself down to the school and probably screamed at the headmaster and told them what the hell are they doing? where is the supervision for when they are in the playground playing? are there no teachers around? They better get in touch with the boys parents because if they don't, I know I would, and make sure those boys are reprimanded. I think you did great in that situation as I know I may of lost it. My son means everything to us and if anything happened to him at school,they will be seeing the one side of me that none of them have seen in me before. Not only that, they have his father to answer to and I know that will not be pleasant. I'm glad that the headteacher was very sympthetic and is doing something about it. Keep us updated please and I hope Niamh is ok after that horrible incident. HUGS and prayers :) [maddysmommy]
Me too sweety - it just blows my mind that they would even think of it! I meant to say there are several helpers in the playground at break and lunchtimes but they have a huge playground that surrounds the school and can't see everything! xxx [mummymo]
well sweetheart you know how we feel about Niamh , When I told faither about it I think he would have quite willingly gone with you up to the school , I am so pleased you got it sorted as I knew there was something wrong whenever you answered the phone , I am so glad she knows where she stands with bullies , she is a wee sweetheart and we love her like our own , all of you xxxx [weemam]
Wolfie pal I know what you mean, she has so many people in her life who who love her and want to protect her , she is such a wee sweetheart xx [weemam]
Oh wow that is scary Mo,bad enough for people who are older,but gosh the boys were only 6 years old.Makes you wonder what they are seeing or being told elsewhere. We do live in 2008 tho,kids know so much nowadays. Think back to when we were 6.Oh goodness.All completly different. Anyway it seems as though the school is actually paying attention to this,which is a good thing,hopefully the boys involved will understand how wrong this was,even if they did find it funny at first. I hope Niamh is ok now & enjoying the sun,& you too of course. [LoudnProud]
Thanks Loud! It was very different in our day wasn't it - when we were 6 anyway! Niamh is taking things in her stride - wish I had half her guts! I am lucky to have a school that does listen and that knows my daughter well - Thanks for the support honey! xxx [mummymo]
Uhmmm. Mummy? I would have gone super nova on the school and the parents of those boys. You're okay. I'm glad your daughter is too! [BCMike]
That was my first reaction Mike but they were so understanding, supportive and upset about what had happened themselves that I couldn't be angry with them. I am just glad though that I didn't come across these boys cos I am sure I would have lost it big time! xxx [mummymo]
WOW I am sorry to hear this happened to your daughter. She does sound like such a lovely girl. I am glad you talked to the person you needed to talk to and that she agreed with you in your daughter protecting herself. As far as the boys are concerned, they probably picked that up from an older kid maybe a brother or even their dad. Grown men watch porno and Movies that aren't prono and have that in it. They can hear older kids talking about doing that. I am glad it is nipped in the butt and hopefully there will be no more problems. I would think to suspend the boys, but at the age of 6, unfortunately they won't really realize what that means. Watch your Blood Pressure and get some rest ~Icy~ [icyorchid]
Thank you so much icy! You know this sounds really nasty but I kind of hope they do try something again as I am sure Niamh would defend herself now she knows she won't get in trouble and I wouldn't like to be those boys if she did - she is very strong and we have taught her how to defend herself! Not that I would want her upset again mind you even though she is coping well! I am having an early night tonight - I just wanted to get back here and thank you guys for the support! Hugs xxx [mummymo]
Mummymo I agree with everything Wolfie says here. I cannot abide bullies and let's hope that the school sort this out. They seem to be taking a sensible line. These boys need to understand that their behaviour is not acceptable. Their class needs to know that it won't be tolerated either. I hope that this hasn't happened before. You did the right thing going to see the teacher and telling Niamh to not accept anything like this in the future. Hopefully these boys will be so shocked by the reaction to their "horseplay" that they will never ever try something like this again. Hugs to you all. XX [p1kef1sh]
I certainly hope they don't try anything like this or worse with anyone else! The school are being very supportive - I just hope the boys parents take note too! Thanks p1ke my darling for being there! Hugs xxx [mummymo]
That would have pissed me off also. My son was 7 and once had some kids hold him and kick him over and over again. I went to the school and you know what they did took the kids recess away for two days thats it. I was so mad so I know how ya feel. Hopefully it never happens again. [minnie_98214]
Oh your poor boy! I would have been mad too! From what I understand the boys playtime and lunches will be indoors and supervised for at least 2 weeks - I think that should at least let them see that this kind of attack is not going to be tolerated! Thank you sweetheart! xxx [mummymo]
My dear, you did exactly the right thing. I commend you for keeping your wits about you and seeing to it such that it was nipped in the bud. I am so glad that Niamh is okay. I would have been seeing red and can only hope that I would have handled it as well. I hope that your family time together this evening will help to calm you down a bit. You should rest assured knowing that you are a marvelous.......... the best in the world.... Mum for your kids. Huge hugs my dear Mo (((((((HUGS))))))) [makingpots]
Oh my darling makingpots thank you! I don't know how well I think I handled it as I was absolutely shaking and nauseous - more because of the manner of the attack than because she was bullied! We had a good time together tonight and she is a trooper - I on the other hand am a nervous wreck! Thank you sweetie and hugs straight back at you! You have no idea how much those hugs and words of yours mean to me! xxx [mummymo]
My dear friend Mummy Even if you aren't calmed down you are welcome to come back and rant about it, as I too would be upset, I really really commend your daughter and how she handled it, and I have to say right now that I would encourage her to get a teacher or go to the head of the school. I'm glad the head teacher understood where you were coming from and will not fight you telling your daughter to protect herself. Mooch [oneandonemakesix]
Thanks Mooch sweety! I am not calm but neither do I have the energy left to rant right now! I am very proud of niamh too as she is really brave and has far more strength than her mum does! We have talked everything over and I am sure that she will defend herself if such a thing were to happen again! Thank you for your support my friend! xxx [mummymo]
I don't blame you a bit. I can't belive kids are that sick at this age to want to mess with another child of there same age. I don't blame you a bit for telling her to do what she has to do to protect herself from danger of this sort. That is sad what this day has came to. I almost want to tell my sister to warn her. My little 5 year old neice starts school this year and reading this really worries me. [Shaun72]
I agree and understand. I am not sure where these little boys got this idea from but itis very sad and sicking. I hope that both of these boys get the punishment that they deserve. I don't blame you a bit for being mad and upset. [Shaun72]
Mo, this made me sick to my stomach just reading it. Raising boys is one thing, but when something like this happens to a little girl it sets my hackles on end. I have a grand daughter now, and I think I would absolutely blow a major gasket if she were to be treated like this. I am dreading it. Emily starts kindergarten this next fall. If the teacher and principles thought I was a tough cookie with my boys they have seen nothing yet. Mo girls must be equipped to handle any situation that gets thrown at them. Kudos MUM! You did good! You don't worry about it go play with your children. [Angelwhispers]
You know sweet that sounds a lot better than a slap! Hugs xxx [mummymo]
Oh that is horrible. I would have freaked out. I have a very bad temper when my kids are being bullied, abused or treated badly in anyway at all..I don't let them pass off something like that. I always tell my children that if they are in danger they should try to protect themselves unless if someone's sticking a knife or gun at them. I don't want them to be harmed in any way..I wouldn't let a thing like this pass by without no punishment on the other kids part. I love kids but they should be disciplined in the right way. [p3halliwel2005]
I would fight to the death to protect my kids sweety so i do understand what you are saying totally! I have always taught my kids how to defend themselves and Niamh is very strong - she has no problems defending herself against older and bigger people but here children are always taught hitting is wrong and she doesn't like doing ANYTHING wrong at school - now she knows she won't get in trouble I am sure she will defend herself next time! xxx [mummymo]
Must have been horrible for Niamh to be attacked by two boys like that!! Hopefully it wont happen again (not til shes older any how! lol) Glad you have ranted, I bet you feel abit better aftert that ranting. I would have thought the headteacher would have said no to violence unless it was extremely necessary and to tell a teacher!! Does make you wonder why boys are fascinated with girls skirts!! I think they find it funny to go round lifting up the skirts to annoy the girls but not sure about them doing it at 6!! [cinderella2007]
You know sweety I don't feel better - just different - I think I am emotionally exhausted! I was ready for her to tell me that Niamh was not allowed to fight back but she did say that there are situations where you have to do what you need to protect yourself and she totally agreed that if there was ever a situation like that again she was to defend herself - it is not as if she could get a teacher when one was holding her - and their playground is huge! xxx [mummymo]
GO MUMMYMO! Kudos to you and your brave little Niamh too. Both of my kids are non-violent, but they know how to defend themselves when they have to. Like you, I made sure of that when they were starting school. We live in an increasingly uncivilized society I'm afraid mummy. So I'm glad that your daughter as well as the school authorities agree with your teaching her to defend herself. As long as she understands that force is to be used only for self-defence, then I see no problem with teaching her that. Boys of that age are curious, nasty little beasties at times, and girls like Niamh will put them in their place soon enough. Let's hope the boys learn from this and don't carry this behaviour into adolescence. [sparkofinsanity]
That is so true! She came in from school to ask if she could go to her friends (her mum is my friend and the little un comes to my house before and after school when her mum is at work) house - and off she went into the car happy as you like! It is probably better that she is off playing with her than me watching every little move! Thanks spark! xxx [mummymo]
How could you be anything but livid, mummymo? Those boys need some real punishment, so they learn that what they did is NOT acceptable in any circumstances and that kind of behavior will not be tolerated. Actually, they should probably be suspended for a day or so, but they might like that, being off of school, so never mind about that one. I guess that having to stay inside while the other kids are getting to play outside is sufficient, if it's enforced for long enough to really hurt. Poor Niamh, she must have been so conflicted. She clearly wrestled with what to do - fight or not get in trouble. I'm so glad that the school backed you up like that - that's crucial! It's got to give you at least a bit of comfort and ease, I guess. And don't worry - we'll all still be here, waiting for you. For you, I don't know what we wouldn't do. [novataylor]
Aww shucks Nova I got this far without breaking down and I don't know how you did it but now i am gone! lol Exclusion from the school was mentioned if this was repeated but I don't think it would do much good either. i am very reassured that the school are being so supportive but they are very hot on any kind of bullying and this really upset them too! Thank you for your friendship and support nova Hugs xxx [mummymo]
Wow! Just WOW! I can't even begin to imagine how these boys thought to feel up a girls skirt. How utterly shocking! Hopefully, this situation has been nipped in the bud before it becomes a huge issue. My initial thought, and I hope I'm right, is that these boys were just fooling around and didn't realize the consequences of their actions. Having the deputy headmaster get in touch with their parents may be all it needed to solve the situation, and hopefully, they won't try it again with your daughter, or any other girl. [angelwhispers30]
Thank you for that miniangel! I am very proud of her and wish I could handle this as well as she has! I think the way this was done has me worried it is more than just a bit of fooling around but whatever i just pray that the school and the boys parents sort them out - I mean at 6! Thank you for the support sweety , I really do appreciate it! i am off to bed in a minute as I am exhausted but I will attend to our other discussion in the morning! xxx [mummymo]
mummumo I do not blame you for getting angry as I am feeling angry just reading this. oNe would not expect kids that young to do something so outrageous. Perhaps they have been around older ]boys who told them a lot of nasty things. something had to trigger such bad behavior. I am so glad the teacher was so understanding. what a thing for a little six year old to go through. the last thing most kids that young think about is sex for heavens sakes. I would have felt sick also as that would have been the last thing I would have expected in children that young. hope things get better now for you mummymo.if this ever happened again to Niamh I hope she kicks the little bad actor in you know where. [Hatley]
I am very surprised she didn't do this this time around sweetheart - I hadn't counted on her quest for good behaviour overbearing on her urge to defend herself! To be honest the anger is subsiding and i am left shaky , sick and exhausted - wish I could follow Niamhs example and shrug it off! Thank you for the support sweetheart! xxx [mummymo]
What in the world were these boys thinking of doing anything like this for? You did the RIGHT thing, I would have done the dsame, you kept your col whereas I wouldn't of. I'm glad you met with no resistance from the head teacher when you told her that Niamh would do what she had to do to protect herself! Such an early age to have to do this ...Such a shame...Lori [dumblnddzzy]
I think I only kept my cool as I was scared to let go of the anger - I would have exploded somewhere! I am still shaky and exhausted but the anger has dissipated quite a bit - I think I am more saddened that this has happened! I have always been open with my kids and she knows the facts of life (to the extent that a 6 yr old can , or at least I thought they could) and knows about inappropriate touching etc as I believe that knowledge is power - I just never expected her to have to worry about 6 yr old boys! Thank you for your support Lori, it means a lot! xxx [mummymo]
That is terrible Mo. I often wonder where kids get these idea's from. Is it something they see being at home in front of them. Are they watching tv programs that are not meant to be watched by kids. I am glad you went to the school about it. That is the only way to get it stopped happening again. I feel sorry for Niamh thinking she would get into trouble for protecting herself. I hope it never happens again, but if it does I hope Niamh gives them what for. [Goodie123]
I have no idea where 6 yr old boys get this idea - especially one holding her while the other does it! I am positive that she will knock them out or at least make sure they regret it if this ever were to happen again! Thank you Goodie - I am off to sleep now as I am totally drained but wanted to thank you guys before I signed out altogether! xxx [mummymo]
Hi MM: As you know I don't have children so I'm not a great one to give you advice. I know when I was a boy the more I liked a girl the more I tried to get her to notice me. Some times I pushed her a bit or teased her. I think these boys like Niamh....but doing that to her is not the way to do it. Next time one tries to do something have her kick him 'you know where' or punch him in the nose. That will stop them. Ranting is good for your soul. Have a great day. Ivor [TheSpy]
Thank you Ivor that is a perspective I never thought of! If this is how boys show they like girls now then I think there are going to be a lot of boys with black eyes and bruised erm bits! I appreciate your support Ivor, hugs xxxx [mummymo]
A week or so ago on the Dr. Phil show they had almost the identical situation and the question was how did a 6 year old boy know about sex and it turned out that his grandfather had been molesting him. Makes me wonder the same thing about the kid who hurt Niamh where did he learn such behaviour. [whiteheather39]
Really? I hadn't even thought about that possibility and I am not sure if the school has either - although they wouldn't discuss it with me even if they did. Wish we had Dr Phil here sweetheart - Thank you so much for this different perspective on things! Hugs xxx [mummymo]
How awful for your child! And I too feel bad for the boys, what have they seen and how do they live that they think that is ok. Thank goodness your daughter has a safe and loving home and good for you giving her permission to fight back! I feel so badly for you and your family, but I'll bet that your sweetheart will bounce back just fine and move on. Good job! [laglen]
Thank you for such a balanced view laglen - I really appreciate! I normally see all sides of a situation before I make decisions but when my daughter was the 'victim' I am afraid I couldn't do that! You are right she is bouncing back and she is much stronger than her Mum - Thank you for the support and kind words sweety! xxx [mummymo]
The very title of this discussion set my hair on end. My youngest is the same. She doesn't want to get in trouble. I've told her, as you did yours, that if she is in danger, she can kick butt and she will not be in trouble at home, regardless of school. I've told all my kids this. I have a girlfriend who was molested in elementary school by another boy. She was afraid to tell anyone. This was 30 years ago. I'm so glad that we live in a different time, where kids are not afraid to tell their folks when something happens to them. I think you showed amazing restraint. Your little one will be just fine and so will you. Thankfully, you are the fantastic mother that you are. Take care. [cyntrow]
I am so sorry for your friend - this must have been a very heavy burden to carry on her own - I would hate if either of my kids felt they had to do something like that! Thank you for the support cyn honey - it means a lot! BTW your future son in law lost his temper when he found out what happened and has been so sweet with his little sis - even this morning and he is not a morning person! lol xxx [mummymo]
My Dear Mo! I am so sick and sad and angry over this!!! Also, shocked as they are only six and she should never had to of endured this from her peers at her age!! I really have no other words.....So hard to take in.... I am glad that it is sorted out and the school is taking the appropriate action! I'll be prying for you as I know this would shake me up also if anything happened to my boy such as this! I'll also pray that Niamh never has to go through anything like this again...At least she knows to defend herself herself now! Take care my dear friend and I wish for a you a good sleep! Love and Hugs, ~Heavens~ [heavenschild]
Thank you heavens my darling! The prayers and Hugs have done wonders although I have to admit my sleep was worse even then usual - at least I know that Niamh is coping much better than I am! Thank you as ever for being such a dear and supportive friend! Hugs xxx [mummymo]
I think I'd insist that these boys see the school shrink. Obviously they are learning this behavior from somewhere and it needs to be looked into. **AT PEACE WITHIN** ~~STAND STRONG IN YOUR BELIEFS~~ [twoey68]
I just found out from my daughter that last week the same boy was running around lifting girls skirts up - kinda normal and harmless really but combined with this it is very worrying! I have contacted the school again but they cannot legally tell me if he is to see the educational psychologist! I am increasingly worrying about what has happened to make these boys act in this wasy too! Thank you for being here twoey! xxx [mummymo]
I think you have every right to be outraged and i would be livid ...especially since it seems the boys got off scot free. Makes you wonder how far those boys have to go before the so-called school system will do something other than just a slap on the hands. I was a sub teacher for a 1 1/2 and was very disgusted by many things I saw done by teachers to students...I reported one thing to the parent i knew that something was done by the asst. principal to her son. And I was told later i could not go back to that school anymore to teach. And the parent went to the board and nothing was done so she did what she had to do to protect her son, she took him to another school. I worry what will those boys be doing in another few yrs when they are older and stronger. Makes me feel like some kind of charges should be done or something. I am sorry this happen to her. Lish [fury2525]
Oooops sorry - Niamh is much better now - I am starting to calm down a little, it turns out that the boys in question sre getting input and support from other agencies - don't know the details as the school are not allowed to tell me which I respect - at least I know it has been taken very seriously! xx [mummymo]
I'm so sorry I missed this earlier. Actually, I wasn't really online much at all yesterday. What a horrific thing for Niamh to have to go through, and you certainly did the right thing in going to the school, and telling her to defend herself. I'm wondering where the teacher(s) on yard duty were when this happened? I know they have a lot of kids to watch, but ... I'm thankful that these boys are being disciplined, and hopefully they'll be watched closely from now on. Sadly, this type of thing seems to be quite widespread. We had a similar incident, when my daughter was around that age. In her case, this (little) boy used very 'mature language,' and threatened 'to do' certain things to her, and her friend. I sent a note to the teacher, and then had to meet with her and the principal. The boy's dad was called (don't know where his mom was), and he was disciplined for his actions. There was also a recent problem along these lines, involving the little girl I babysit, and her parents had to go to the school. I believe again, it was a boy 'saying' inappropriate things. Finally, this has brought to mind (for me), an unfortunate and scary thing that took place when I was around that age. As I'm in my fifties, you know how long ago I'm talking about. A couple of my neighbours sons, took me out behind their barn, and let's just say I was terrified. I managed to break free, and run home. I told my mom, and she 'had it out' with their moms. Back then, nobody reported these incidents to schools etc., and it wasn't taken as seriously overall. I'm thankful that the times have changed, as to the way these incidents are viewed now. Take care, and big hugs to you. [someonesmom]
Thank you 'mom for being here at all - sorry I have taken so long to get back to you , have just been totally drained! There are assistants who supervise the children at lunch and break time but the school playground is huge and surrounds the entire school as well as having lots of areas you can't see unless you are right beside them - I don't blame them for not seeing this happening! I am stunned that this has happened to so many people and my heart breaks that you had to go through the experience you did with your neighbours son and very thankful you broke free! Thank you as ever for your friendship and support honey! Hugs xxxx [mummymo]
we did it mummymo we did it we did it !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111 [Angelwhispers]
Thanks angel -- Now I am really excited! xxx [mummymo]
I'm so sorry to hear about this, mummymo and I commend you for the way that you handled it. I also commend your dear daughter, Niamh. My heart goes out to her and to your family. I'm so glad to hear that the school is being supportive. [Transdisc]
Thank you Trans - that means a lot to me! I am very lucky to have a good relationship with the school and that they are so supportive! My daughters strength and character blows my mind and leaves me in awe! xxx [mummymo]
I would have been angry and upset too! I would have done the same thing you did....but I would also tell my child to let me know about similar situations in future. Though my son is taught not to hit back....I also had a situation wherein I had to tell him that he could hit back if it was to protect himself....he's 7 now and I think he knows the difference. I find that the boys (most of them not all) are very violent and love to play violent games where they hold each other down and one punches the other (in fact, I got the teacher to change my son's class due to this). I've also seen boys the age of 5-6 who put their hands on the seat when a girl is about to sit...and most uniforms here are skirts. I couldn't believe a child that age doing it! That's the age where they are innocent. I have no idea what this world is coming too. You have a wonderful daughter....and don't you worry about myLot...we can wait. I'm just so sorry that your daughter had to go through with this kind of a situation. [SViswan]
My son is doing great now, thank you:) I hope your daughter is fine now and so are you. [SViswan]
I´m really sorry that this has happened to your poor little girl. In my opinion those boys should be thrown out of school. The sooner, the better. Who knows what they´re going to do next and who´s going to be their next victim? Just reading this makes my blood boil, so I can imagine how you must feel... From what I know such disgusting attacks haven´t taken place in my daughters school, but a boy tried to rape a nine year old girl in the toilet in a school near hers. He was ten. The girls parents reported him, he had to leave the school and as far as I know that was it. Some situations require violence and any girl or woman being humiliated in this degrading manner should use it. Sorry I got to this discussion so late. Hope Niamh is ok. A big hug to both of you XXX Dana [dana234]
My worry would be that if they threw 2 6 year old boys who have already done this out of school after doing something like this we may just be brushing the problem under the carpet and it may not be monitored as well as it should! There was talk of exclusion if there were further problems and to be honest if there were any more problems I probably would want them moved as I would not want my Niamh having to deal with anything else and why should she move when she has done nothing wrong! I know I am contradicting myself but if it happened again it would just be more than I could cope with and I would not risk endangering my baby again! It is awful that a boy of 10 would try to do something like that - it makes my blood run cold, and I worry that these boys may increase their assaults if left unchallenged or not closely monitored! i am sure niamh will use violence if she needs to in future and she is a very strong little girl so that should work! Thank you as always honey for your support and for your friendship - it always lifts my mood when I see you! Hugs xxx [mummymo]
I dont think it matters what age boys do this they will be men later right. I used to have to black many and eye for them to stop trying to do things to me like in 1,2,3,4th grade finally got it across they arent to fool with me and I nevr ever told any one before [Lakota12]
only way to do it [Lakota12]
Morag beta, this is a very unfortunate incident, not expected from students of a reputed school. As mother you must have gathered a lot of mental turture .Niamh is wise enough not to create an unplesant situation in the school. The boys can create problem in future inside as well as out side the school. You must fight with the management of the school if the Head teacher is not serious over the issue. Cheers. [bhubaneshwars]
I have been back in touch with the school Papa - and the matter is being taken very seriously indeed I am glad to say - all the teachers and support staff are aware of the situation and monitoring the situation carefully. Thank you for your advice and support. Hugs xxx [mummymo]
I cannot believe that happened, I really cannot, I am so shocked. I would have been furious, I would have just, Oh I do not know what I would have done first. My boy is like that though, he was being bullied at school, different I know, but he would not hit this boy, and yet he was more than capable. The reason he did not was because he did not want to get into trouble. Good for the teacher backing you up on protecting herself, too right, she should if she knows how, I always tell mine the same, someone attacks you do what you have to do. [gemini_rose]
Thats the thing sweety she is more than capable of defending herself - I know it sounds weird but I have always taught her ways to defend herself - just as my bothers did with me - and I know she could probably leave them in a lot of pain or knocked out - I am now certain she won't let it happen again without a fight! My son was bullied too but he doesn't have the same personality - he has come through it though a lot stronger! Hope things are going better for your son and he is coping with his exams. Hugs xxx [mummymo]
I now read the details of what happened to your daughter, mummymo, (as I am coming from your other discussion) and I am so really sorry about it and feel angry about the situation. I really don't understand why on earth boys that young would do such thing? Have they watched such things happening? Are their parents in knowledge of what their boys are like? I don't know but it's a disturbing behavior and one that can not be accepted at all. I think your daughter's school is really helpful or at least that's what appears. They are dealing it the way I think it should be dealt and I am glad that they are listening to you carefully. Probably a proper punishment to boys like one suggested may help them understand that what they did can't be accepted. I hope it works out in best possible way! [kamran12]
I didn't feel composed at the time kamran but I have to show a good example to my kids when I can! Thank you for being so nice! xxx [mummymo]
I can understand why you are so angry about this. It sounds like the school handled things well. It is disturbing to me that I was suprised by that fact. These days too many schools try to sweep things under the rug and downplay situations. You were right to tell your daughter how to protect herself in the future. I do wonder what the reaction was of the boys parents. I often remind my son that he needs to respect girls and women. There are far too many boys/men who don't. Take care [miamilady]
I am very lucky that I have a lot of trust in the school! My son went there for seven years before moving to high school, my daughter is in her fourth year there (she is in Primary 2 but spent 2 years at the nursery there) and there was only an overlap of one year with them , so i have been involved with the school for 10 years and have a very good relationship with the staff and management - I have seen them dealing very swiftly and effectively with bullying in the past. I am not sure what the parents reaction was but I know that they know all the details and have been left in no question about the seriousness of the situation. I am so pleased that you Tech your son to respect girls/women - I am sure he will grow up to be a wonderful man! Thank you for your support miamilady - it is good to see you! xxx [mummymo]
Hi mummymo! I have just came across this discussion just now. I thought that Niamh was being bullied by other students but these one is beyond bullying in my opinion. I know Niamh to be a very sweet girl and I just fell in love with your daughter when you have shared a story about her being in the tub while reading, "Just like mom" as her dad put it. I am so angry now and I felt terrible that her schoolmates will do such a thing to her. I hope that by this time, everything is resolved for I worry about your little girl. I would hate it too if the same thing happens to my beloved nieces. I might raise hell to the school authorities if that will be the case. Again, I pray that those boys will be scared to do the same thing again to Niamh or to any other girls in their school. Please tell Niamh to take care of herself always and kick those boys if they try to harm her again. Take care and God bless! [faith210]
I am a worrywort too faith - especially with children! You have no idea how much those prayers mean to me and to Niamh! With hugs and love xxx [mummymo]
You have a very angry Goth here hun. There is absolutely no excuse for this kind of behaviour and the boys concerned should, at the very least, be disciplined for their actions. No one should be subjected to this kind of bullying hun, I hope you have made this plain the the teacher. I really hope Niamh is ok and that she knows that she can fight back. [recycledgoth]
The school have been very supportive - they cannot go into specifics but both the boys and their parents have had to come into school to discuss the situation and left in no doubt as to the seriousness of the situation, I believe there are also other agencies involved with both families and the details have been passed to them also. The teachers and sla's in the school are all aware of the situation too and are watching the boys and Niamh closely! Niamh is doing really well and when I ask her what she would do if they or anyone else tries anything like that again she looks at me gives a little grin and then very solemnly tells me " i'll knock them out Mummy" Yep she is a tough cookie! Thank you so much for your support sweetie! xxx [mummymo]
Oh my...I'm speechless with shock. How horrible for the little girl, our lovely Niamh. What on earth is going on here. How come no-one saw them and came top her aid. The poor little soul....even at that tender age feels that she will be in trouble if she fights back and that she has to let these boys do this to her. And where do these little boys get these ideas from...to have 2 of them gang up on a little girl. And how rough were they being to scratch her like that...did they have some sort of implement. Gosh, no wonder you're sick and angry. I'm hoping you've settled down a bit by now. I so wish this had not happened, there is too much ugliness in the world and a lot of it is directed at females.....even little ones are not safe. I'm sure she is not traumatised by this as she seems to have forgotten it by the time she got home. Big hugs to you both. [MsTickle]
Thanks Tickle honey - you know I love you right? Niamh doesn't really like trousers to school - for all she is a tomboy she is very girly in other ways! It was very hot at the time too so she would have refused to wear them but that is good advice! xxx [mummymo]
Oh my gosh. That is terrible. The sad thing is that kids are doing things at a younger and younger age. I wonder also why they would think to do this. I hope that your daughter is doing okay and that those boys are dealt with harshly. If they aren't then it could get worse. I also hope that you're are doing okay, as I know that this is probably hard for you. [cortney09]
Oh cortney you would be impressed with how my daughter has dealt with this and not so impressed with me I am afraid! The boys are being dealt with by other agencies as well as the school so hopefully a well as learning just how serious this is as well as receiving any help they may need! xxx [mummymo]
I would have been more than a little furious had this happened to one of my girls. I do know boys are curious and even at a young age but this one goes beyond curiosity!! My first question in reading your story is where is the supervision in the school? How did something like this happen and no one noticed it at all? Of course the head deputy was kind to you....sounds like you have a potential law suit on your hands. After dealing with the school I'd be knocking on the doors of those boys myself and talking to their parents. I'm sorry this happened to your little girl. Let's hope this is an eye opener for everyone. [sid556]
Thank you so much for your support on this one sid - I think I would have lost the plot by now if it weren't for lovely people like you who have answered my plea for support - Thank you from the bottom of my heart! I will post an update of how things go! xxx [mummymo]
Well I think you did just the right thing, by going to the school and addressing the issue right away. I had a instance when my oldest son was in junior high. A teacher accused him of masterbating in class,(what)??? I marched right down to that school and had it out with the principal. The thing that made it so bad was he said it out loud in front of all his class mates. Now at the time my son was on the A honor roll and a very good student. This teacher was a science teacher, who was known( the kids knew and saw it) to sit junior high girls on his lap while he played the guitar(what)??? So after my rant, the teacher must of been brought in, I did not talk to him. Mostly because I might of become hostile and I just thought it best to go to the top. I can not tell you how angry I was, but in the end my rant must of worked , because within a week that teacher was no longer there. I like you had always told my children they have a right to defend themselves, I just never ever wanted to hear they threw the 1st punch. But if someone was hurting them they had every right to take action and defend themselves, I am glad your school acted quickly, we can only hope those boys are learning some good lessons on boundries. So they never try something like that again to anyone. So sorry that happened to your little girl. [Deea48]
Doesn't sound like that teacher had any real boundary understandings himself - I think if my 14 year old son had a teacher like that I would be getting involved and I am glad that he is no longer there! How horrible to say that to your son - especially in front of everyone we all know what kids that age are like! This is going to sound really strange I know but in a way if it had to happen to anyone in her class I am glad it was her as she is a very strong little girl and it hasn't affected her as much as it would most of the other girls in her class! Thank you for sharing Deea48! xxxx [mummymo]
Oh that is really awful and you little girl is so brave. I know the kids today are getting worse like that at such a early age. I hope and pray this never happens again. And I hope your okay. Im glad you got that off your chest. Sorry it took me so long but I was on vacation in the hospital.LOL And it wasnt a nice stay. hugs my friend! [TerryZ]
I am glad to say that all is well here now Thank you terry. I know you weren't having a very good time - I think I would have given anything to get put under sedation at the time though - even if that meant taking your place in that vacation! xxx [mummymo]
I have come back to this because I was wondering what the outcome was. Have these bad little boys been punished and made to understand that they do not use the opposite s e x like this? oxoxoxoxoxxoo [raydene]
From what I can gather Mom there are other agencies involved with the families of both boys and they have been informed of what happened. There haven't been any more problems and school has broken up for the summer now! Hugs xxx [mummymo]
I would be SO ANGRY if I were in that situation. Great job with the way you handled it, I think I would have been at the school raving mad. It seems that "assaults" in school are beginning to happen at a younger age. I am not in a rush for my children to be old enough to go to school I hope everything turns out well! [latoyahall]
Thanks for that vote of confidence latoyahall! I was very angry but was trying to make sure I didn't upset my daughter any more. This is the first time I have experienced such an assault and I have to reassure you it is rare but I do understand how you feel! Hugs xxx [mummymo]